That's intense
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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