you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There r osticjed everywhere
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
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having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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