I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
