The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
