Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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