Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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