I wannas sexs uuuuu
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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