Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we made out on top of his cat.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
