i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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