Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
