I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
