I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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