omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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