I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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