Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Can I color on your dick again?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My liver is preforming stress tests.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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