for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
