thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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