is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
there is glitter all over my balls
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
