Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
operation harelip BJ is a go
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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