Define "chronic" masturbator.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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