Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
