Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is it because I queefed?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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