I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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