Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
