Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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