Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
