if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
