love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I am one with the molecules
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
