Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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