she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
