He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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