thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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