Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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