I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
