I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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