When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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