i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
