I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
