margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
