ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I will pee on everything he values.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
