I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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