Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
