I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
