these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Even my vagina gasped.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
