Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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