I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
