Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
