I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
