so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
