We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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