My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
