I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
