STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
