My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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