after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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