i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
