i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
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Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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