hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
