I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
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He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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