if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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