She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
